Dirge
by RedKetchup
Summary: But I wrote a letter, Sabo wants to insist, and the fact that he was dead to his brothers for the past twelve years starts to make a connection.


"I wrote a letter to you two."

Years after the fact - _ages to Sabo_ - in the devastation of the newly-freed Dressrosa, he brings up said letter. It almost sounds like a plea, and even though he's the second-in-command of one of the strongest forces in the world he can't stop the trembling which found its way to his fingers.

He tries to clear his throat, to shake loose the brittle softness that's lodged to his words. "There was a letter."

Luffy's face is blank, bright-eyes and a dip in his mouth. "I know, Ace read it."

Sabo works his jaw, feels Koala's hands as they work a bandage around his arm. Damn Fujitora, he had one hell of a fight in him, and now Koala's here fixing up the scrapes. Her silence pesters at him, and it's filled with words she wants to say, to comfort the oncoming flood, but they remain unspoken and uncomfortable in her mouth.

Luffy glances at her and smiles. "You're Sabo's nakama? I saw you earlier, you kicked those guys' asses just like Jinbei."

Koala's eyes widen at the mentioning of a once-upon-a-time savior, one of her centers of admiration. Her mouth parts excitedly.

"Do you know Jinbei?"

"Yeah! He's going to be my naka-"

"But I wrote a letter, Luffy," Sabo says, mind working, heart thumping, and absent from the conversation. "You said you read the letter."

Luffy quiets, _when had he grown up so much, oh god_, and his head tilts. "Yeah, Ace read the letter."

"Then you knew, right? I didn't die, I wouldn't have died without being free first. I didn't know you guys heard about my ship being destroyed, but you didn't believe it, right? I was alive. I was-"

Koala's fingers smooth his jacket gently, interrupting his ranting, pulling him back to reality.

"Sabo," she says, voice tender, "your ship was blown up."

It's like she pulled him underwater and told him to breathe.

The three of them settle into the quiet, letting it wrap around them like a blanket. There are smoldering stones and a downfall of ash. It's like Yuletide, except the the dust burns the ground and makes a powdery charcoal.

Sabo shouldn't mind, he's _fire_, but it's like he's the opposite. A hunk of ice. Frozen. Numb. Stopped.

_But I wrote a letter,_ Sabo wants to insist, and the fact that he was dead to his brothers for the past twelve years starts to make a connection.

He thinks he's going to be sick, and the ice cracks while the hard facts waste no time to overwhelm him. It's like losing Ace all over again except he can't tell what's worse.

The idea that until today he had thought Ace died wondering why his brother didn't show up to the war, or the fact that Ace died thinking he left Luffy, his only brother, behind.

_Oh, god_. Ace died - _it hurts to acknowledge that_ - and Luffy, the little crybaby, thought that Sabo was already dead and gone.

_Nononono, oh, god. Oh, god_.

He even _knew_ beforehand that his brothers didn't know. He had asked Ivankov all and everything about the war, 'bout Luffy, 'bout Ace, and he had already _known_.

_"Sabo-kun, Mugi-boy didn't mention you. He even said Ace-kun's his only brother in the world."_

He chalked it up to a bitterness from the lack of Sabo's arrival during the war, and he assumed that because he was bitter with himself, so why shouldn't Luffy be? Surely, after he had abandoned the two of them Luffy wouldn't want him to be his brother anymore.

Never was that the case.

Luffy stares, and he shouldn't see Sabo like this. Sabo has to be strong, he's already mourned, he can't cry now, not in front of Luffy. He's got to be strong for-

In his letter, he even asked Ace to take care of Luffy. He put all of his share of the responsibility onto his brother. _Oh, god,_ what has he done.

Sabo clenches his eyes tight, brings his hands to them to _press._ Koala shakes him, scared, and cries out for Hack-san because it must be painful for her to watch.

"Sabo," Luffy says, and he can't even look at his little brother's face. "Ace was smiling."

He stops breathing.

Luffy titters, claps his sandals together. "We're free, aren't we? You're like a crybaby!"

Koala laughs from behind him, forced and worried but amazed. "He is, isn't he? He can't even wake up in the mornings without whining about how early the sun rises."

From the blackness behind his eyelids he imagines their shared grins. Sabo waited so long for a moment like this, and he's hiding behind his hands like a child.

Isn't this what Ace wanted as well? For them to live?

_Ace was smiling._

Luffy is happy, and he's still here, not left behind.

"Want me to tell you about the time Sabo was swallowed by an alligator and had to be rescued?"

"That was you, Luffy. Don't you remember?" he mumbles, lips fighting for a smile.

"Hm? Oh, yeah, I suppose it was! _Shishishi_!"

"Were you as much of a trouble-maker as your brother is now?" Koala asks, genuinely curious. Her hand is still settled on his arm, soft and light.

"He still is," a new voice rumbles from Sabo's left, and he peers over to see Luffy's pirate-hunter Zoro, bloodied yet satisfied, ambling over. "Hey, doncha think someone should look at your injuries, captain?"

"I can look at them," Koala offers and Sabo loves her for it.

Luffy laughs and waves her off. "No worries, Tra-guy says he'll handle it as soon as he checks up on some stuff. Nah, Sabo, is this your pirate crew? They're neat."

Luffy has a pirate crew. Luffy's going to be the pirate king.

"No, I'm actually not a pirate."

"Eh? You're not?"

"Oi, Luffy, who is this?"

"Sabo, you wanted to be a pirate?"

Slowly, like magic, the life in the destruction comes back.

He stares at Luffy, who's excitedly trying to talk to Koala and Zoro and saying _oh, yeah, where are the others _and _revolutionaries? who's Hack-san? _and laughing.

Sabo's fingers turn to flames, warm and powerful, knowing that Ace merely went on ahead. It's his turn to be a brother now.

Three birds settle nearby, singing as the sun appears on the horizon.


End file.
